All about marriage...Funny Quotes
Every man should get married some time; after
all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! -Anonymous
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman
can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
--Agatha Christie
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than other.
--Oscar Wild
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
Sam Kinison
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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give
You for free. --Anonymous
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Bachelors know more about women than married
men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
--H. L. Mencken
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Men have a better time than women; for one
thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2
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Marriage is a three ring circus:
---engagement ring
---wedding ring
---suffering
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone
knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone
wonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
When a man opens the door of his car for his
wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
"She said, "Somewhere I have never
been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours
That was only for the estimate.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
"Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the
street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he
refuses to ever get married. He says "the wedding ring
look too much like miniature handcuffs... .."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
If your dog is barking at the back door and
your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you
let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A man placed some flowers on the grave of is
dearly departed mother and started back toward his car
when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling
at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound
intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to
die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but
this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen
before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A
parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself,
then replied, "My wife's first husband."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but
then smiled "It really works!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman
He loves.
After marriage, he earns for the woman he loves.
"I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand"
all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! -Anonymous
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman
can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
--Agatha Christie
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than other.
--Oscar Wild
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
Sam Kinison
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give
You for free. --Anonymous
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Bachelors know more about women than married
men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
--H. L. Mencken
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Men have a better time than women; for one
thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Marriage is a three ring circus:
---engagement ring
---wedding ring
---suffering
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone
knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone
wonders why.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
When a man opens the door of his car for his
wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
"She said, "Somewhere I have never
been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours
That was only for the estimate.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
"Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the
street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he
refuses to ever get married. He says "the wedding ring
look too much like miniature handcuffs... .."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
If your dog is barking at the back door and
your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you
let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A man placed some flowers on the grave of is
dearly departed mother and started back toward his car
when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling
at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound
intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to
die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but
this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen
before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A
parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself,
then replied, "My wife's first husband."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but
then smiled "It really works!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman
He loves.
After marriage, he earns for the woman he loves.
"I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand"
